Author Archives: barry pearman

Do You Have a 'Time sensitive' Gut? compassion mental health

Do You Have a ‘Time sensitive’ Gut?

Compassion moved my gut, then my heart, and then I received a notification from my mind.

Not every story creates gut moving compassion.

But as I listened it wrenched open my heart, soul and stomach till I was totally gutted and laid bare by what had happened to my friend. Being vulnerable to others can do this in you.

They open a door to what is really going on in their soul. They feel safe enough to share and then they vomit out tightly held stories of pain.

Compassion, the suffering together with someone, asks you to get in the ditch with the struggle. Messy as it is.

There is always that moment of decision. Will I listen deeply and groan, or be antiseptically clean and Teflon it away. Continue reading

A 'But' Can Make a Big Differance In Your Mental Health

A ‘But’ Can Make a Big Difference in Your Mental Health

You need a ‘but’ to enter your narrative of ‘and’s’.

The large leather strap slammed down on my primary school desk and made my 7-year-old body freeze with terror.

Mrs G was the one teacher every child in Wellsford Primary School did not want to have. I had been quietly writing some sentences out when the tyrant crept up behind me, strap in hand. She looked over my work and asked me ‘What’s the margin doing there?’ to which I innocently replied ‘It’s always been there’.

That strap came down so hard on my little desk that I think the whole class shook. I wasn’t being smart or cheeky, I was being honest.

I wonder now if that was my first experience of being shamed. Continue reading

Why did the Samaritan cross the road

Why Did The Samaritan Cross The Road?

We feel safe enough to heal when we experience a shared humanity.

I only went to see this doctor once. His personality, or lack of it, made me wonder whether under his smooth shaven skin was actually an android. No sense of empathy or human compassion for my sprained ankle could be seen.

He treated me, charged me, and then sent me on my way.

I’ve met others like this too (Yikes, I wonder if they are breeding) and sadly all too often in the helping professionals.

They are all professional and programmed up to the latest model of ‘care’.

The ones that I have found to be truly helpful are those Continue reading

Robbed who are the real robbers mental health

Robbed

We’ve been robbed in more ways than we know.

It wasn’t the usual snatch and grab. This was more a subtle insidious taking of life.

In the early stages of their depressive illness, they had been put on the new wonder drug Valium. With strong tranquillizing effects, life was muted.

Then after 30 years, Continue reading

Mental Health Reality is Not Wishing on a Star

Has Walt Cast a Spell on You?

Avoid wishing on a star at all costs. Instead, embrace the reality of a real life on a dangerous road.

As a kid, I always watched the ‘The Wonderful World of Disney’.

Sunday nights we would gather as a family and we would be swept away to some faraway magical place where there was always a happy ending. Then that memorable tune would creep into our lounge like a

Then that memorable tune would creep into our lounge like a warm cuddly blanket. Continue reading

There are No 'Ordinary People'. Creativity Must Have Its Outlet.

There are No ‘Ordinary People’. Creativity Must Have Its Outlet.

Under the thin veneer of supposed ‘ordinary’ is a power of creativity and life. There are no ordinary people.

If you saw her in the mall you wouldn’t take a second look. This was probably intentional on her part.

Average height, weight, with modest clothes she would slip into the supermarket like a ghost, grab a few items then quietly take a bus home to her small two bedroom unit.

After packing away the milk and bread this ‘ordinary’ woman would rest herself into an old worn chair and embrace her world of creativity. She would begin to knit. Booties, cardigans, scarves, beanies. All beautifully handcrafted with stitches of love. Continue reading

'I'm Such A Failure'

‘I’m Such A Failure’ and Here is What I Want You to Know

‘I’m such a  failure’

If you’ve never quietly said it about yourself, then you will most likely have heard it from someone else.

This post is to help you help others you have problems with a failure mindset.

For myself, I can so easily personalise my failures into ‘I’m a failure’. Continue reading

Mental Health is ... doing one thing well (not purrfectly)

Mental Health is … doing one thing well (not purrfectly)

Mental Health is … doing one thing well (not purrfectly) every day over a long period of time.

How many pieces of information will you receive today?

Facebook, twitter, emails can bombard and distract.

Is there a level of confusion in your life?

I read this recently

If you want to depress someone then confuse them.
Teach them in such a way that confuses the hell out of them and
give them a level of uncertainty about their capacity to do it.
Todd Herman.
Continue reading