Confidence grows slowly and steadily when we are empowered by people walking alongside us.
I could see the hope and confidence slowly fading and being sucked away in this young guys face. He was going to return to live with mummy.
He was doing so well with the support our team was giving him. We were empowering him to reach out and try new things including managing his own money. When he opened his own bank account, well it was just too much for his elderly mother. She believed he was incapable of managing money and so she withdrew him from our support.
She had decided that she knew best. It shut him down, put him in a box, and I still wonder to this day what happened when she was put in a box. Continue reading
There is a time for everything, including rescuing, but let’s focus on the rebuilding through empowerment.
It was one of those lightbulb moments for me.
I had just discovered something new that threw some new light on an old struggle.
Ever had one of those?
What I learned is that Jesus did for us what we cannot do for ourselves and that Jesus does not do for us what we can and should do for ourselves.
I outline these and 8 other principles of how Jesus demonstrates empowerment in my eBook So you want to help.
The first two principles. Continue reading
When you’re helping others you need a self-care plan for yourself
It was a major storm. A lot of rain had fallen and I had witnessed flooding like I had never seen before. A few days later I was in a drain clearing some of the damage.
I was up and over my knees in silty mud. It wasn’t nice or comfortable as I waded in the mud for probably half an hour. The only thing that really kept me going was the thought of a hot shower and some clean clothes. That mud sure was sticky. Continue reading
Compassion moved my gut, then my heart, and then I received a notification from my mind.
Not every story creates gut moving compassion.
But as I listened it wrenched open my heart, soul and stomach till I was totally gutted and laid bare by what had happened to my friend. Being vulnerable to others can do this in you.
They open a door to what is really going on in their soul. They feel safe enough to share and then they vomit out tightly held stories of pain.
Compassion, the suffering together with someone, asks you to get in the ditch with the struggle. Messy as it is.
There is always that moment of decision. Will I listen deeply and groan, or be antiseptically clean and Teflon it away. Continue reading
We feel safe enough to heal when we experience a shared humanity.
I only went to see this doctor once. His personality, or lack of it, made me wonder whether under his smooth shaven skin was actually an android. No sense of empathy or human compassion for my sprained ankle could be seen.
He treated me, charged me, and then sent me on my way.
I’ve met others like this too (Yikes, I wonder if they are breeding) and sadly all too often in the helping professionals.
They are all professional and programmed up to the latest model of ‘care’.
The ones that I have found to be truly helpful are those Continue reading
‘I’m such a failure’
If you’ve never quietly said it about yourself, then you will most likely have heard it from someone else.
This post is to help you help others you have problems with a failure mindset.
For myself, I can so easily personalise my failures into ‘I’m a failure’. Continue reading
6 Keys To Helping Someone Who Is Suicidal
For some it can be a very dark world at times. Suicidal thoughts, feelings and desires become overwhelmingly strong.
They reach out for help and they ask YOU. Continue reading