Beginning Again

Beginning Again

Beginning Again

I had thought ‘growing up’ meant
Gaining independence.
Taking my first reckless steps
As I stumbled across the living room floor,
Then, later on, into
Adult life.
Creating a ‘me’ shaped by
My visions, my goals,
My desires –
Accompanied by some
Steepcliffs of learning and a
Painful chastening at times
As I looked back on earlier
Behaviours and their consequences with
Disbelief and regret.
I realise now that I have had the
Map upside down and been
Reading from back to front.
The landscape has changed;
Familiar landmarks are gone.
And I discover that
All I tried so hard to avoid is really
The pathway to what I most desire;
I am exchanging the freedom that confines for
The discipline of love;
Finding my freedom ‘in’ You.
Finding, in this unfamiliar place, that
I feel strangely at home;
A growing sense of belonging despite
My aloneness at time, as
Walls tumble, lines blur and
Resistance evaporates –
Until there is no longer
Thee and Thine or
Me and mine.
Until I am Yours,
Yours alone, and
You are mine, and we are just us

by Jane Hansen

Jane Hansen is married to Jim, and is also a mum and grandma. Jane enjoys country life
close to the Wairere Falls beneath the Kaimai Ranges, visits from family and friends and

writing in response to God’s grace in the blessings and challenges of everyday life.

Refresh – Journal of Contemplative Spirituality Volume 12, Number 1. Summer 2013. I

Photo Credit: `James Wheeler via Compfight cc

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