She walked into my office in a long, flowing skirt. She always had loved long, flowing skirts. But she blamed them and herself for both of her rapes. “Maybe if I hadn’t worn a skirt,” she thought.
And she hated herself.
The man read from his journal. Almost 20 pages detailing every abuse he had ever experienced. His anger had turned from others onto himself. He thought of himself as nothing. Worthless.
And he hated himself.
I could write pages and pages of stories just like these. People I have known and sat with for hours, listening to their pain. Some call it low self-esteem, some prefer other words.
The semantics of self-hatred doesn’t really matter.
In the end, it comes down to a pain that seems impossible to bear and even more impossible to be rid of.
Living in this broken world breaks us. Continue reading “Becoming the You God Sees: Guest Post by Kristen Kansiewicz”
It was election day here in New Zealand last Saturday and as I stood in line to cast my vote I started a conversation with an elderly English gentleman.
He had come to New Zealand in 1968 on a world trip.
Running out of money, he decided to stay.
‘Well, why wouldn’t you?’ he commented.
We both discussed how wonderful it was to come out on Election day and express our democratic right. It was part of being a citizen and a member of the community.
To know that your opinion mattered just as much as the next person.
Democracy – love it. Continue reading “Have You Voted For You Yet?”
The shame of an attempt at suicide can cling onto you like the odour of some dirty old socks.
You would do anything to get rid of that stench. Is that a good description of shame? That feeling of embarrassment at what you have done. You want to hide, run, cover it up, but it’s still there. Those smelly old socks still stink.
Recently I was asked a question by one of the readers of Turning the Page about how to help someone who had recently attempted suicide. In the midst of their crisis, they had posted their intentions out on Social Media. Now they had a deep sense of shame and embarrassment. They feared that people would treat them differently.
So how would you help someone like this? Continue reading “18 Insights to Heal the Shame of an Attempted Suicide”
We are all like druggies, wanting that quick fix to kill the pain.
Be it a drug, some porn, a sale, a comfort food, an altar call, a dose of the ghost (Holy Spirit), or a faith formula to get what we want. Anything, just anything to avoid going deep, facing our sinfulness, repenting and making the change.
Maybe they had seen too many telly Evangelists. They told me they had been to multiple healing services and now they had come to me and wanted me to ‘pray the demons out of them’. When I said that I would like to know more about them, they stormed out of the room and asked the passing caretaker to pray for them. He looked kind of shocked and puzzled. Continue reading “Just waiting for an ‘Anointing’ to wash my problems away: Toxic Faith pt 2”
What if this is not the worst-case scenario? What if it is the best-case scenario? How
would your view of your current circumstances change?
What if every person you encounter is simply doing the best they can with what they
have? What if every person who misunderstands you and causes you hurt or
frustration is trying as hard as they possibly can to do their best to understand you
and meet what you need of them?
We tend to view the world through a filter colored by our emotions, judgments and
experiences – we’re self-centered that way. Continue reading “What if we are doing the best that we can – Tash McGill”
That little phrase ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’ is not actually in the Bible. In fact, Jesus had a rant about those who equated having the body externally clean with being close to God.
In Jesus words they were like ‘manicured grave plots, grass clipped and the flowers bright, but six feet down it’s all rotting bones and worm-eaten flesh’
And yet I have a body, created by God, for a purpose and I believe how I treat my body does have an intimate connection to my wellness.
I’ve seen the extremes. Continue reading “True or False? Cleanliness is next to Godliness”
It is one of those memories that is special to me. I was very unwell as a child with eczema and asthma. My parents asked if our pastor and a few others could come and pray for me.
They were following the advice we find in James 5:14. We had communion together and then they put some oil on my forehead and asked God to heal my illnesses.
Are you sick? Call the church leaders together to pray and anoint you with oil in the name of the Master. James 5:14
I wouldn’t say there was any miraculous instantaneous healing. No thunderous change took place, but I knew that I was not alone and that some godly men and women loved me and prayed for me.
Over time those illnesses left me. Continue reading “MEDICATION, GOD AND CHRISTIANS. WHAT IS HELPFUL? PART 2”
There are some people that I struggle to like, let alone love.
They are those that preen.
Those who seem so full of their own self importance, strut around like peacocks, and who want everyone to notice them.
You can see it so obviously with some, whilst with others it’s more like a hidden agenda that they aren’t even consciously aware of.
Enter into my reading zone is the book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday.
There is a story in it that I have been pondering over. Continue reading “To Be Someone or To Do Something? That Really Is The Question”
The change was barely noticeable unless you knew them well enough to know that this was significant. It was a small change in their behaviour, a problem that had plagued them for most of their life, but now it was gone.
They wanted a miracle, like the over night delivery of a new brain, but this was actually kind of better. Small yes, significant YES.
It was always sad for me when people would come to me and project their anger on to me about God not healing them in miraculous fashion of their addiction, personality disorder, anxiety, depression etc.. Continue reading “52 Days to Better Mental Health”
One of the most wonderful things you will ever witness is when someone does the hard work of change.
It maybe the challenge of overcoming the grip of an addiction. It might be the rebuilding of a life after a serious traumatic experience.
I think of those I know who have very serious mental illnesses, yet push on, do the work, and make progress in their lives that is significant for them. Continue reading “Do You Have A ‘Mind To Work’?”