It’s always hard to confront someone with your concerns about their mental health. Failing to do so maybe an act of collusion. Speaking the truth in love is what we need to do.
Sometimes you’ve got to have the hard word. To say things that you wish you didn’t need to.
Who likes confrontation?
But at times you just have to confront the problem. If you care, then you will say something even if it isn’t accepted that well by the other. Continue reading “It’s OK to Confront Someone About Their Mental Health”
To ‘Walk the extra mile’ is not about being generous, or servanthood. It’s about flipping the power dynamics and creating a sense of fear and uncertainty.
Have you ever heard someone say ‘They walked the extra mile’?
We link this little phrase with the idea that this person did more than expected. They didn’t just do what was required, but they went on to do more and more.
So often though we can take this idea of ‘walking another mile’ as a justification for putting up with abuse and bullying. That we are to be patient and just put up with abuse. Didn’t Jesus say ‘ if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.’? Continue reading “How ‘Going the extra Mile’ Flips the Power Dynamics”
Giving the ‘shirt off your back’ is not an invitation to more abuse. It is a subtle expression of self worth and can confuse and shame the bully.
Have you ever tried to challenge someone’s behaviour and it just gets thrown back at you?
You may feel like you are being bullied, or tormented by this person. They seem to feel quite justified in what they are doing and you just take it.
You haven’t got the word power or even the emotional power to push back, but you want things to change. Continue reading “Give them your Shirt and confuse the bully into shame”
She had given into the bully 365 times too many. She had been cheek slapped all of the marriage. He just accepted the insults and put-downs as if he deserved them. Tongue lashings kept him eating dust. Dust he and the abuser were both made out of. Ghosts of bullies past haunted them.
I gotta stand up and take a step
You and I have been asleep for hours
I gotta stand up
For your love
Others, who had also tasted dirt, rose from the dust and stood alongside the quivering heart. With a newly discovered dignity, they no longer felt like a worm.
They were now warriors of love. A violently disturbing non-violent love. Continue reading “Does ‘Turning the other cheek’ mean I have to keep taking abuse?”
Harvey didn’t quite know what to make of the whole noise and hubbub happening outside his hermit cave. He had run from all the scandal, and now he was out in the desert looking after a bunch of smelly sheep. Others too were joining him. All clothed in rags and looking for a hiding place. There was Kevin in the corner and of Bill had been here a while.
Now all they could do was wander the countryside, sheep following behind and wearing the smelly clothes of shame. Continue reading “What Harvey Weinstein got for Christmas”
They were so caught up in themselves and their selfish desires that they got lost to the concerns of others. Without recognising the wealth of love around them, they were the prodigal, a child of abundance squandering it away. What drew them back was a memory of love, faint and small, when the soul hit rock bottom.
We all at times suffer levels of naivety and ignorance. We don’t know what we don’t know. In our prodigal pride, we wander away until we remember that allure of love and we wake up.
We can be so blind that we miss the obvious. Everyone around can see what is happening, but we blindly go on. Warnings given and dismissed.
‘I don’t have a problem; it’s you that has the problem’ Continue reading “It’s Love That Wins The Blind Prodigal Back”
It was only a small little torch but when I flicked the switch and pointed the beam of light at the ceiling the whole room filled with light. It doesn’t take much light to chase the darkness away. Moods can change when we flick the switch.
The brain takes the shape of whatever the mind rests upon. Dr. Rick Hanson
When depressed, a dark mood can become like a swamp holding you in its grip. You want to break free of the suction but you are held firm.
You need to get up. You’ve got things to do, commitments, relationships that rely on you but the gloom of a dark shadow grips you.
Then someone says Continue reading “Black Moods of Depression Lose Their Power When YOU Turn The Light On”
Just outside my window, I can see a beautiful yellow rose.
It wasn’t there last week, well actually it was but it was just tightly bound up under its green calyx.
A lot can happen in a week, in a day, in a moment.
I can see the beauty but to deeply experience it I must stoop, smell and breath in its beauty. Slowly, gently, letting my brain cells savour the moment.
Do you take time to smell the roses?
You don’t need roses
Continue reading “Smelling the Roses Grows a Healthy Brain”
The shame of an attempt at suicide can cling onto you like the odour of some dirty old socks.
You would do anything to get rid of that stench. Is that a good description of shame? That feeling of embarrassment at what you have done. You want to hide, run, cover it up, but it’s still there. Those smelly old socks still stink.
Recently I was asked a question by one of the readers of Turning the Page about how to help someone who had recently attempted suicide. In the midst of their crisis, they had posted their intentions out on Social Media. Now they had a deep sense of shame and embarrassment. They feared that people would treat them differently.
So how would you help someone like this? Continue reading “18 Insights to Heal the Shame of an Attempted Suicide”
Life has a tragic way of repeating itself. It seems at times that we just go round an endless loop of repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Then someone says ‘forget what lies behind’.
One of my favourite classic movies is Groundhog day with a very young Bill Murray.
Weatherman Phil Connors is sent to cover the first day of spring in a small town called Punxsutawney. At night he goes to bed and then wakes to the alarm going off at 6 am.
It’s not 6 am the next day, but weirdly 6 am of the same day. He gets the opportunity to live the same day over and over and over again until he gets it right. Continue reading “To Heal You Just Need to ‘Forget What Lies Behind’: Toxic Faith pt. 4”