On Being A Weathervane

I loved to watch planes as a child.

On Being a weathevane

On the farm in which I grew up on we would often get fertilizer spread by aeroplane. It was exciting to see that noisy plane swoop low over the fields and hills and see trails of white powder spreading over the landscape.

I suppose it was those planes that gave me the idea to build a weathervane in the shape of a plane. I loved building plastic Spitfire and Hurricanes, but this plane needed to be built of hard-wearing material. No little fiddly pieces and ‘get a headache/ high glue’.

So out of some wood in the workshop I crafted a plane.

I can’t remember what colour I painted it but I do remember putting a plastic propeller on the front. Through the centre of the plane a nail was used as a kind of axle for the plane to spin around upon.

It worked extremely well. With every little shift of wind direction the plane would move straight into a place of least resistance. That propeller would whirr around and fill the air with hum.

It worked perfectly well for the first year, but then under the heat of the sun and the rigours of winter storms the paint started to blister and peel. The plastic propeller got worn and started to wobble on that nail.

The plane still swung around on its pivot, but now the hole seemed honed out. The plane didn’t swivel so freely.

The next wild storm blew in and the propeller broke right off.

What was needed was a rest in the carpenter’s shop. I time to clean off some of the grime, a new paint job, a repairing of the damage and a new propeller.

I tell you this story because I think it is like many of us, if not all.

We head out into life with brightness and purpose. We angle ourselves into the wind of resistance and move ahead. Little shifts of wind and we adapt. Storms come and go, rain, hail, and hot beating sun, we weather it all.

Over time we get worn out without us ever realising the change. We think we are better than we really are. We are star struck by the over achievers so we go on, until we breakdown, burnout, and collapse.

Time for the care of a carpenter. Time for care from others whom the carpenter sends to help.

We all need time for rest and refreshing. For rejuvenation.

This is a serious question.

Are you ok with being loved?
Are you ok with being cared for?
Are you ok with being told ‘You need to rest’.

The very nature of facing into the wind takes its toll on the fabric of your being.

I remember listening to a pastor who was going through basically a power battle between himself and a couple of church members. He was broke. I simply asked ‘How is it with your soul’?

The question cut right through the normal bravado to a place of personal soul weariness. He had run on the fumes of an empty tank for too long.

Is this resonating with you?

It’s ok to rest and restore, and its ok to have others feed into you dollops of goodness, truth and love.

Barry Pearman

Image by Aquilatin

What is the Gift Your Wound Has Given You?

‘Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me’ is a fallacy.

Words can hurt. They can cut right to the core of your being and can echo around and around in your mind and drive you to despair.

Just think of the abuse of text bullying. A few choice words here and there, and cuts are made to the heart and maybe to the skin. I wonder how many suicides and suicide attempts have a few words as the catalyst of destruction.

A barrage of abuse on a weakened spirit can break the will to go on. Words like nails are hammered into your psyche.

I think of Jesus and the barrage of words rained down upon him in his trial. Matthew 26.

Words can drown out life.

Words can also be the soothing balm needed on a wounded heart.

Little phrases like

Well done
Thank you
You’re going to make it
I’m going to help you

I am with you

Words and gestures from ‘Big people’ in your life. That older person, that person with the street cred, mana, wisdom, grey hair. That one, for reasons unknown to yourself, who just whispers to the heart ‘you’re going to be ok’.

I listen to many words through a range of podcasts.

I discovered Nadia Bolz-Weber on the Podcast Onbeing where she was interviewed by the host Krista Tippet.

In the podcast Nadia states these words.

I have this thing about being a preacher who reveals things about herself, and it’s that I always try to preach from my scars and not my wounds. So, talking about depression is not in any way a wound for me.

When I heard this I felt connected with her journey, her depression, wounds and scars.


So I created a meme, and now it has been my most repined image on Pinterest.

I only preach from my scars, not my wounds. Nadia Bolz-Weber

Why has this been so incredibly popular?

I think that the image grabs you because it’s a real person, like us. Not some model, superstar or icon, and yes I know they are real too.

The words I think touch down on some core pain points. Our wounds and our scars.

They give us a sense of hope that wounds can, in time, become scars. That we don’t have to be stuck as wounded forever and that out of those battles there can come a gift.

For Nadia Bolz – Weber, as a pastor, the gift is preaching. For others it could writing, singing, teaching, listening etc…

What is your gift?

Today I listened to a an interview with Rob Bell. He was talking about a time where he was speaking in Miami and a women in the audience stood up and asked this question.

What do you say to somebody whose young daughter has just died from a mysterious illness that only a few people get. What do you say to me, because I have just lost my daughter.

I said first off in the ancient wisdom tradition in some suffering there are no words, there’s silence.

So first off I would begin with that any one that does give you nice clear-cut answers for why your daughter died, I don’t know.

Secondly I do know this, that some point down the road your going to meet up with a women who has also lost her young daughter and your going to look at her in the eyes and your going to say ‘me too’ and in that moment that you’ll be standing on some holy ground. Solidarity is divine. When someone stands with you.

Here is what happens. The woman standing next to her starts gushing and says ‘My young daughter is really sick and they have only given her a little bit of time to live and this woman turns to her.  Rob Bell – How to Practice and Understand Faith and Spirituality

Words, solidarity, hope.


Barry Pearman

7 Steps to Help Those who Ruminate.

Sometimes I think I am like a cow. I ruminate over things.

7 Steps to Help Those who Ruminate


Much of my life I have spent time working on farms, I even have a University degree in agriculture. I humorously call this my degree in pastoral care.

Cows sit out in the field and chew the cud. With their mouth’s moving from side to side they chew food that has already eaten. Cows and sheep are ruminants and have 4 stomachs, so they eat their fill then they chew it later, colloquially known as ‘Chewing the cud’.

Rumination according to Wiki is defined in this way

Rumination is the compulsively focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions. Rumination is similar to worry except rumination focuses on bad feelings and experiences from the past, whereas worry is concerned with potential bad events in the future. Both rumination and worry are associated with anxiety and other negative emotional states.

Do you ruminate?

I know you don’t re chew your food, well at least I hope you don’t, but do you go over and over issues all the time?

What I had been taught all my life was not true: experience is not the best teacher! It’s what you do with that experience that matters. John Maxwell

I think we all have a tendency to do this, some more than others, but if you are always looking back then you are going to stumble in any efforts to going forward.

It’s like we chew over things. Round and around and around. ‘Woulda’, ‘coulda’ and ‘shoulda’ are echoed self talk sound bites leaving you malnourished of hope.

Why do we ruminate?

  1. To feel like we are doing something about the problem. We want to change a situation, so we keep going over and over and over it, looking for a solution. This feeling of doing something can just be a subtle downward delusional spiral to the depressing reality is that there is nothing you can do. The brain, in trying to resolve its tension, looks for the answer. Any activity, including rumination, feels good. We hate ambiguity, that sense of uncertainty and lacking of clarity. We want to solve the mystery.  So like a good detective on T.V. we hunt out the clues to solve the murder and eliminate the mystery. Know that you will never know everything and chasing the past for purpose is like chasing the clouds for pleasure. It will leave you exhausted and lost.
  2. To Self deprecate. Perhaps it is a way of punishing ourselves. That below the surface of our thinking there is a deeper trail of chewing. ‘I did those things, so now I have to punish myself’… ‘This is the consequence of my actions’ … ‘This is the reaping of what has been sown’. So we stew in this cud as punishment. Any sense of forgiveness, grace or loving fathers embrace (Story of Loving father – Prodigal son) is not allowed to touch our lips.
  3.  To potentially learn. We chew over the situation to glean some wisdom from the situation. We consider experience is the best teacher yet only considered experience teaches us wisdom. Rumination can be helpful, as long as it leads to action and not just stewing and

So what are you going to do with that experience.

Are you just going to keep ruminating on it forever?

7 steps to Help those who Ruminate.

  1. Write it out. Get what you’re ruminating in your mind out of the head and on to some paper. I think writing in a journal is one of the most powerful of all mental health disciplines you can have. Here is a link to some a post I have written on journaling.

    Learning to write is learning to think. You don’t know anything clearly unless you can state it in writing. S.I. Hayakawa

  2. Problem solve it. This where writing it down comes in really helpful. Get together with someone you trust and talk about what you have written down.Tease it out to find the problem. Find one concrete solution you can (not should, could or would) do to overcome what you are ruminating about.
  3. Engage in activities that promote the positive. What activities fill your mind with other thoughts preferably positive thoughts. Hobbies, mediation, reading, running, cooking. The main point is to get your mind out of the rumination rut for a while.
  4. Can them.  Get yourself a tin can, and as the questions come up write them down on a piece of paper and prayerfully place them in the can. Imagine yourself placing them in Gods hand to hold them for you. God has big hands! Place the can up on a shelf and leave it there. After a while take that can off the shelf and see if any of your questions have been answered in the intervening time. Add more questions when they come up. see more here
  5. Schedule them. Tell your brain this ‘I do not have time to think about that at this moment. I will think about it tomorrow at 3pm’. Its telling your brain that yes what you are presenting to me is worthy of time and thought so I therefore will make space for it. If you remember to think about at 3 pm so be it, but I have found quite often that this little technique will slowly deflate the rumination balloon of any sense of self-importance
  6. Place them. Do you have a place where rumination is worse? Look for patterns of where your rumination seems to occur more frequently and/ or more powerfully. ‘When I found a place to think my thoughts my thoughts found a place in me.’ John Maxwell
  7. Displace them. I often use truth coaches to get my thinking back on track. These are little powerful insights, quotes, verses that speak truth into my thinking. Find out more here.

Remember this. Whatever you dwell on, it will get you, in the end.

It will create thinking tracks in your brain the size of the grand canyon where every situational event will tumble into.

Quotes to consider and share
  • Monitor your thinking and deliberately dwell on the virtues of your difficult friend, or negative feelings will surely follow. David Riddell
  • What you focus on gets you. Focus on the negatives/ challenges will always take you down. Focus on the positive/ good things will always give me hope.
  • I choose to ruminate, ponder and toss over in my mind good things.
  • Thoughts disentangle themselves passing over the lips and through pencil tips. Dawson Trotman
  • The thoughts I indulge grow stronger. The thoughts I acknowledge and put in their place lose their power to discourage me
  • The tricky thing about rumination is that it feels like it’s helpful, but there’s no action taken, and you don’t move forward to some sort of solution. Carla Grayson
  • He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality. Anwar Sadat
  •  To change your emotions, first get control of your thoughts. Ruts of the mind become moods of the heart. David Riddell
  •  To achieve radical change, I need to call some of my feelings ‘liars’ and choose to side with truth, against my own emotions, until my feelings come around. David Riddell
  • I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse Philippians 4:8 (The Message)


  1. Use a journal to write out what you’re ruminating on. Share it with a trusted friend, counsellor or pastor and problem solve anything that needs addressing
  2. Find some truth coaches and write them out in an easily accessible place such as a small notebook you can carry at all times. When you feel the ruminations coming on, spend time reading your truth coaches.
  3. Get yourself a tin can and can the questions you are ruminating over.

Barry Pearman
Photo Credit: bogers via Compfight cc

p.s. what did you think about this post! Leave me a comment or tweet me at @barrypearman 

Oh, yeah don’t forget to share it with fellow ruminators using one of handy little icons below. HIT them

8 Steps To Discovering Wellness Through Knowing Your Early Warning Signs

Often I travel over some sharp twisty roads. One of these roads has a large hill and just on the other side there is a beautiful view with a fence that has been driven through.

There are signs to tell drivers to slow down, but for this driver the signs were ignored, boundaries were crossed and lives put in danger. If you know the signs then you can avoid the catastrophe. Continue reading “8 Steps To Discovering Wellness Through Knowing Your Early Warning Signs”

Mental Health Requires These 3 Things

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My shoulder muscles are sore, and so they should be.

Yesterday I spent the day shoveling 6 m³ (7.8 yd³) of compost. As part of my gardening business, Gumboot Gardening, I am building a vegetable garden for a school and part of this has been building some raised growing beds.

Yesterday was the day to fill the beds with compost which left me with tired muscles.

I have learnt recently that when you are building muscle mass there will be pain as the muscles get stretched. No pain no gain I suppose. I am also learning that there needs to be recovery time where the muscles can heal and repair.

Here is some thing I want you to learn.

Mental Health doesn’t just fall into your lap.

You have to work at it.


To be mentally fit and healthy, the same principles apply as for physical health and fitness.

It doesn’t just fall out of the sky and present itself you as something quick and easy.

Mental health requires Effort, Patience, and Pain. Click to tweet


  1. Effort. Do you treat your mental health as seriously as perhaps an athlete treats their physical wellness. Enough that they are able to win that gold medal, break the world record, or just achieve their personal best. Athletes train hard, but they also focus on what they are consuming in their diet.

A mental health question.

What are you regularly taking into your mind?

Is it positive, uplifting, helpful. Would it meet Pauls criteria of things to think on?

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Philippians 4:8

In the past I have spent a lot of time listening and watching the news. I have decided to seriously cut back on the consumption of news. Last night made my mind up for me. The opening words from the news anchor were ‘It’s all down hill from here’. Do I really need this! Now I am not going to become a hermit and cut myself off from all current affairs, but seriously, do I need most of what the media determines to be newsworthy to fill my brain?

2. Patience. Some things … just … take … time. The change will happen but it will only happen when I am consistent in forming new habits over a long period of time.

It has been estimated that the average time for a behavior to become a habit is 66 days. I imagine that this would be the same with thinking habits.

It isn’t going to happen overnight but it will happen if we are consistent in repeating positive behaviors over an extended period. Here is a hint about habits. Make them small enough that they would be impossible to fail at.

3. Pain. No one wants pain or failure, but without failure we won’t learn and grow. Does fear of pain or failure hinder your stepping out and trying something new?

An acceptance that you will have failure and pain opens the door to learning.

I remember learning to ride a bike. I fell off. I scraped my knee. Did this stop me from trying again? No, I jumped back on and fell off and I did this again and again until I had mastered riding that bike.

‘Failure isn’t fatal’ and ‘there are no dumb questions’. Without these insights your learning will remain inhibited. David Riddell click to tweet

Writing this blog for 4 years has taught that I have to keep getting back on that bike of writing. Of learning the skill. Its painful at times wondering if what I am doing is actually making a difference to anyone. Then I get some feedback and that’s enough to get back on that bike and keep on writing.

Having good mental health requires effort, patience and pain. Most people can’t be bothered. Instead they settle for second or third or fourth best. They roll along with whatever comes along.

Barry Pearman

Christmas – What Others Think of Me is None of My Business


Here are some conversations that may have taken place around the Christmas story

Angel: Hi Mary, your going to have a baby.

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Angel: He will be the saviour of the world. Its going to be so exciting. Us angels are going to throw you the biggest baby shower ever.

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Angel: Oh yes, Joseph, your fiance, may well reject you

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Family and friends: So your pregnant, you have God’s child within you who is going to be the Savior of the world? Are you psychotic???

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Joseph: I don’t fully understand but I had a dream. Should I trust my dreams?

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Innkeeper: You want a room? You look like you need a delivery suite. I have one of those. Its a hole in the ground where the cows sleep.

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business

Shepherds: Kind of ugly isn’t he but he has a special kind of starlit glow to him doesn’t he. Perhaps he might become a shepherd too. (wink wink nudge nudge)

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me and my baby is none of my business

Wisemen: (In true barber shop style) We three kings have come from a far. Following some crazy big star. Here we sit, here we ponder, a baby born to be king. ohhhh …

Teenager Mary: I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me. What others think of me is none of my business


Ok, enough levity!

It is Christmas after all and it is serious business this religious stuff. Living under the expectations of others. Making sure we get what we think they would like. Looking at their faces for approval as they are handed yet another box of scorched almonds.

In the way we give do we hope to find some sort of approval. Is there a self centred motivation in giving?

‘What am I going to get back in the form of approval’

‘Have I have met the expectations of my family, friends, society’.

‘You know you really are a loser if you don’t give everyone the newest flashest most expensive present out there’.

Performing to other peoples supposed expectations will destroy your peace.

Mary was different.

I’m the Lord’s maid, ready to serve. Let it be with me. Luke 1:38

‘What others think of me is none of my business’ was a quote from a podcast I heard this week.

I don’t know what Mary’s self talk was like through the Christmas story. She actually doesnt say very much. I wonder however if through this whole crazy adventure (advent_ure) she kept her focus on the conversation and experience of the angel visting her. (Luke 1:26-38)

There are things we need to hold onto to get us through crazy times. Self talk we need to repeat over and over again to maintain focus on what is truly important.

Christmas is first and foremost a time of relationship restoration. God restoring his relationship with mankind by becoming mankind.

Worship God the best way that you see fit, because Christmas is about what God thinks of you and is nobody else’s business.

Barry Pearman
Photo Credit: Jesse Michael Nix via Compfight cc

Why this image had a viral sneeze

This week I put this image out through my Social Media channels

 I have been increasing my use of images to get my message across. I like working with images, they can convey so many different ideas all at once.

One of my highlights this year was guest posting on Jeff Goins blog with an article titled ‘How to Wow Your Audience with the Right Image’

The image above had a viral internet sneeze and had 10 retweets, 7 twitter favourites, comments and plus’ on Google plus, and a bunch of likes on Facebook.

Putting aside the powerful attention grabbing picture, I think its the words that really resonated and connected with people.

We have all been there.

Taking on responsibility for some thing that was outside of our control. Worse still is when others blame us for something outside of our control.

‘It’s all your fault’ is an echoed burden too many of us carry.

Perhaps its time to revisit some of our stories. The places and times in our memory bank where our beliefs about life were formed.

  • It was never your fault that you were sexually abused as a child.
  • It was never your fault you were shamed by an over bearing bully.
  • It was never your fault that your parents marriage broke up.

Please, this new day, give yourself the beautiful gift of truth. Only take responsibility for that which is in your control. Other peoples problems are truly other peoples problems.

Questions to Consider and leave a comment

  1. Why do we take on others problems, making them our own?
  2. Shifting responsibility for one’s personal problems is text book avoidance. What is the end result however for the avoider when this is done?

Barry Pearman

Photo Credit: .kleine via Compfight cc

6 Things That I Have Noticed About People Who Change and Recover From Mental Illness

Want to change? 

Most people just want to change without having to do the work. Just give me the pill, wave the magic wand, say ‘abra ka dabra’ and then everything changes.

I don’t believe that Mental Health miracle’s happen overnight. Change and recovery takes work and time.

In those that do make make great strides in personal development and especially in recovery from Mental Illness I have noticed that they have 6 crucial habits that empower their change. Activities that they repeat over and over again so that step by step, millimetre by millimetre, and day by day the brain is changed and recovery is empowered.

You don’t have to have a mental illness for these to be life changing. Anyone can apply these and see steady change occur.

6 Things That I Have Noticed About People Who Change and Recover From Mental Illness

1. They make their bed every morning.

What? Seriously? Making your bed can change your life?

I picked this up from a  talk by Admiral William H McRaven where he related the process of training U.S. Navy Seals.

Every morning Navy Seals have to make their beds perfectly. Every morning they start with purpose. They don’t drift into the day, but rather they start with a drilled in positive habit.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day, it will give you a small sense of pride and will encourage you to another task and another and another. By the end of the day that one task completed will turn into many tasks completed . 

Making your bed will also reinforce that the little things in life matter. If you can never do the little things right, you’ll never be able to do the big things right. If by chance you have a miserable day then you’ll come home to a bed that is made. That you made. A made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. Admiral William H McRaven

There are habits that will set yourself, the self in you, up for the day. It doesn’t have to be exactly making your bed, but this sure helps. It may be other day starting habits of planning, meditating, praying, reading.

Its starting the day with intention.

Its saying to the brain ‘here is the starting line, lets go do it’

2. They make a bed for someone else.

Ok, I am playing with you on this one.

I don’t mean for you to go around making other peoples beds. They really need to making their own!

What I am taking about here is fruitful labour. Finding something to do that has value to you. It may be paid employment but it doesn’t have to be.

It’s finding that activity where you serve. It could be picking up rubbish on the side walk and in so doing you silently serve your community.

It’s doing something that at the end of the day, when you climb into your made bed, you can say ‘I gave’ without any expectation of return and just in this giving there is satisfaction in itself.

It is living with an external focus rather than an internal ‘its all about me’ focus.

Sitting on your butt, smoking, and drinking coffee all day will not help you to recover.

People who recover find an outlet, a place to contribute to society, a meaning for their existence.

Paid or unpaid, it doesn’t matter. Its an activity that you find some value in and adds to others.

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3. They get angry.

I’m not talking about walking around being abusive and violent.

What I am saying is that people who recover have a inner resolve in them that they are not just going to let life happen to them, they are going to take life on, attack it with all they can.

They turn all their energy they can muster into making life change. They live on purpose not on possibility.

Read more about this in my post I’m so angry that I’m going to …

4. They become passionate learners.

People who recover are passionate learners.

They read, they listen, they hunt out wisdom. They want to devour knowledge and apply it into their lives.

They form habits which enable their learning. They go to the library, borrow books from friends (and return them), listen to podcasts, take classes.

All helping the spongy grey matter of the brain to build new neurons and grow.

They battle with self defeating attitudes and beliefs that echo in the brain about not being able to learn.

If they have trouble reading then they go and do literacy courses, they get audio books. They journal their discoveries.

Brick by brick the foundation of change takes place.

5. They set realistic goals.

Goals, ah, that word just brings back to me memories of sitting with people with a bright new young Community Support Worker saying ‘Now we need to set some goals. Then observing the ‘client’ silently groaning  within, yet again, at the cycle being once again repeated. Fresh young thing, straight out of College, wanting to save the world and having to follow the model.

OK putting this echoing memory to the side for a moment, it is important to set goals. The key to setting and achieving goals is that they must be significant to you. They must have value and importance to you. They cant just be a ‘tick the box’ activity for the other person. They must be owned by you completely.

A great way to set goals is to look back into recent history, like the past week, and consider what gave you that sense of fruitfulness. An achievement, that for you, was significant. Then add 10% .

So if reading for 30 minutes last week gave you a great boost, what is the likelihood that if you repeated it this week you would get the same sense of fruitfulness? Quite high? So do it again, but this time add 10%. Read for another 5 minutes, something realistic that you know that you can achieve.

Try it, and let me know if it helps.

Over time, using this method of adding 10% can truly change you beliefs about yourself and radically empower growth.

6. They make STAN plans. 

This is a little method I learnt from the story of Daniel in the Bible. In the story Daniel was in a crisis and was having to make some difficult choices. So he made a plan to achieve his goal.

Stan Plans are

  • Simple to understand by all. Everybody that is involved can understand what is going to happen. It is not pages and pages of detail. It may just be a simple sentence.
  • Timed for a Review. The plan has a time for it to run and then reviewed.
  • Aimed at a some thing of deep value. The plan is aimed at achieving something of deep value to the people involved. ‘It is important to achieve this because it would mean …’
  • Negotiated with key others. Our plans will generally always involve others in helping to make them work. So we need to consult with others as to whether they are on board with our plan.
Having a plan empowers the brain to embrace the changes you are making.
I wrote a series of Blog posts about this and you can find them here – Lessons Daniel Taught Me About Achieving Goals. 
So there you are. Six Keys to change, but they all require one thing.
You have to choose to do them. Simple!
Question to Consider.
  • What for you, from the list above, would be the most difficult to achieve? Why?
Barry  Pearman
Photo Credit: jm3 via Compfight cc
 Did you find this helpful, interesting, challenging? 

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Shadow of Light – Discovering you’re not alone


It was a shadow, in the background, going unnoticed.

It was a Shadow of Light.

Weird really, but a shadow it was. You couldn’t touch it but it was surely there.

Light normally fills a the dark room, creating the shadows, but this was different. It was a Shadow of Light in my very very dark places.

It wasn’t bright neon ‘impossible to look at’ light, it was more ‘just there’. Dim and warm, soft and inviting.

Well it was inviting to me, but to those whose hearts and eyes had been conditioned to the darkness it was something to  pushed to the back of the room. Into the corner, out of sight, and definitely out of mind.

It just watched, silently and sadly at the darkness of thought and motive. Its image bearer hands glowing softly. Rope marked torn hands were clenched in fists that once held whip.

Shadow of Light moved a step forward then pulled back. It wasn’t time yet and I noticed a gentle restraining hand draped over the shoulder.

Why didn’t Shadow of Light act I wondered? Why the constraint in this time of pain?

I focused my eyes in on the throbbing gentle heartbeat of the Shadow. Then zoom, I was transported to his side. I leaned into listen. With the gentleness of a secure lover I felt an arm reach around behind me, gently pressing my head upon his chest.

This Shadow of light was now absorbing me into its image bearing self. A warmth was filling me that the darkness, the dirty, shameful, raping darkness could never rob away.

Do I want the shadow to intervene in the abuse of my soul? Yes, of course I do, but if it means for one moment that I could lose the sound of loves heartbeat then ‘No’ I would respond back.

There will come a time when Shadow of Light will banish every flicker of darkness away.

Till that day, I will secure myself knowing that there is a Shadow of Light walking beside me. No darkness can stick on me, no evil can define me, no abuse will ever shame my true identity.

I am a child of the ‘Shadow of Light’.

Perhaps my own Shadow of Darkness is being transformed by this Shadow of Light. Perhaps you are too.

Zoom into his heartbeat.


Barry Pearman
Photo Credit: kevin dooley via Compfight cc

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