How ‘Going the extra Mile’ Flips the Power Dynamics

How 'Going the extra Mile' Flips the Power Dynamics

To ‘Walk the extra mile’ is not about being generous, or servanthood. It’s about flipping the power dynamics and creating a sense of fear and uncertainty.

Have you ever heard someone say ‘They walked the extra mile’?

We link this little phrase with the idea that this person did more than expected. They didn’t just do what was required,  but they went on to do more and more.

So often though we can take this idea of ‘walking another mile’ as a justification for putting up with abuse and bullying. That we are to be patient and just put up with abuse. Didn’t Jesus say ‘ if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile.’? Continue reading “How ‘Going the extra Mile’ Flips the Power Dynamics”

Give them your Shirt and confuse the bully into shame

Give them your Shirt and confuse the bully into shame


Giving the ‘shirt off your back’ is not an invitation to more abuse. It is a subtle expression of self worth and can confuse and shame the bully.

Have you ever tried to challenge someone’s behaviour and it just gets thrown back at you?

You may feel like you are being bullied, or tormented by this person. They seem to feel quite justified in what they are doing and you just take it.

You haven’t got the word power or even the emotional power to push back, but you want things to change. Continue reading “Give them your Shirt and confuse the bully into shame”

Does ‘Turning the other cheek’ mean I have to keep taking abuse?

Does 'Turning the other cheek' mean I have to keep taking abuse?

She had given into the bully 365 times too many. She had been cheek slapped all of the marriage. He just accepted the insults and put-downs as if he deserved them. Tongue lashings kept him eating dust. Dust he and the abuser were both made out of. Ghosts of bullies past haunted them. 

I gotta stand up and take a step
You and I have been asleep for hours
I gotta stand up
For your love

Others, who had also tasted dirt, rose from the dust and stood alongside the quivering heart. With a newly discovered dignity, they no longer felt like a worm.

They were now warriors of love. A violently disturbing non-violent love.  Continue reading “Does ‘Turning the other cheek’ mean I have to keep taking abuse?”

It’s Love That Wins The Blind Prodigal Back

It's Love That Wins The Blind Prodigal Back

They were so caught up in themselves and their selfish desires that they got lost to the concerns of others. Without recognising the wealth of love around them, they were the prodigal, a child of abundance squandering it away.  What drew them back was a memory of love, faint and small, when the soul hit rock bottom.

We all at times suffer levels of naivety and ignorance. We don’t know what we don’t know. In our prodigal pride, we wander away until we remember that allure of love and we wake up.

We can be so blind that we miss the obvious. Everyone around can see what is happening, but we blindly go on. Warnings given and dismissed.

‘I don’t have a problem; it’s you that has the problem’ Continue reading “It’s Love That Wins The Blind Prodigal Back”

There is None so Blind as Those that Will Not See

There is None so Blind as Those that Will Not See

I once was blind but now I see. Only when we begin to realize that we have been chasing after false promises will our sight return. We see that we have been conned and we are now in a prison of our own making.

One spring afternoon I was driving in the countryside with my parents. The farmland looked green, lush and inviting. I commented on how good the farms looked.

My father, who was a farmer, responded ‘Never buy a farm when you’ve looked at in the late afternoon’.  Continue reading “There is None so Blind as Those that Will Not See”

Want to Forgive? You’ll Unlock it with Compassion

Want to Forgive-compassion-mental-health

You think you have forgiven, but now and then anger bubbles up. You try and stuff it back in its box, but you know that its whisper is still fuming around your heart. Perhaps you need to discover compassion.

A step that is unusual and not what you naturally want to offer, but contains a promise of release that I’ve experienced and you can too if you pray a dangerous prayer.

Meet Smudge.
Continue reading “Want to Forgive? You’ll Unlock it with Compassion”

Confession, A Step Towards Harmony


Confession can take the pressure off ourselves and give an opportunity for harmony to come into our relationships.

Six things we need to learn about confession for our Mental Health.

‘I need help with my husband, wife, child, friend.’

I have an anonymous survey here on Turning the Page where people can share with me what they are struggling with. I don’t share what people write, but I do take notice and look for topics to write about. One of the most interesting trends I am seeing is the stress that comes about from the relationships we have. Continue reading “Confession, A Step Towards Harmony”

Do You Have a ‘Time sensitive’ Gut?

Do You Have a 'Time sensitive' Gut? compassion mental health

Compassion moved my gut, then my heart, and then I received a notification from my mind.

Not every story creates gut moving compassion.

But as I listened it wrenched open my heart, soul and stomach till I was totally gutted and laid bare by what had happened to my friend. Being vulnerable to others can do this in you.

They open a door to what is really going on in their soul. They feel safe enough to share and then they vomit out tightly held stories of pain.

Compassion, the suffering together with someone, asks you to get in the ditch with the struggle. Messy as it is.

There is always that moment of decision. Will I listen deeply and groan, or be antiseptically clean and Teflon it away. Continue reading “Do You Have a ‘Time sensitive’ Gut?”

Shoulder to Shoulder The Fight is Real

I didn’t realise life would be such a fight.

I thought life was meant to be like a gentle stroll along a flower strewn pathway, chatting with best friends. Well that’s what I was designed for wasn’t I?

In reality though I am in a fight, and you are too.

We are unfinished creatures– longing, reaching, stretching towards fulfillment. We express these desires for completion in prayer. Eugene Peterson

When I started this journey of inching my way through the book of Nehemiah I believed that I would find some great nuggets of truth to help rebuild myself, and others. Those ‘5 simple tips to a better life’ that would sell like cold lemonade on blistering hot day.

Haven’t found them and I don’t believe I will. Continue reading “Shoulder to Shoulder The Fight is Real”

You Need Reinforcing Mesh For Your Mental Health Rebuild

I recently watched some guys putting down a concrete path.

Just before they laid the concrete down, a mesh of steel reinforcing was placed into the trench. The concrete was then poured around this mesh until hidden away.

Now I have seen concrete work done where there was no reinforcing mesh. With a little time and some pressure the concrete just cracked open like a biscuit.  Continue reading “You Need Reinforcing Mesh For Your Mental Health Rebuild”